Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
