fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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