Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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