We won't sleep together?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize