His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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