I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
