I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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