I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
