Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
