i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
