you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize