i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We're too hungover to prance.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
