Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
