my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize