Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
