I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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