also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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