He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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