giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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