my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
