If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
