you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
