is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
