Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
