i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
