I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
