So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
