We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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