I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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