This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
