Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
