I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
