I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
