Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize