Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
