before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I believe in your delicious
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
