Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
