You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Actions speak louder than pants.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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