my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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