Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
