so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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