First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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