the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
