Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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