and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
