Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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