She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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