The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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