I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
