I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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