Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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