It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
