So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
