I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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