We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize