This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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