I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
