How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
