Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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