Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
