We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
