The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
